Forgiveness is central to the Christian faith, and vital for keeping our fire for God blazing and successfully running our race.
In a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize. So, run to win! The prize for all of us is everything that Jesus accomplished on the cross. The devil came to steal but Jesus came to give!
I believe that our first step is to truly know that we are forgiven, that God has truly wiped the slate clean. “He has removed our sins from us as the east is from the west.” Psalm 103:12 NLT. “You will trample our sins under your feet and throw them into the depths of the ocean!” Micah 7:19 NLT. We are what the bible calls a new creation in Christ. Sadly, so many people don’t know this in their hearts; they carry guilt and shame that doesn’t belong to them anymore. A great exchange took place at the cross; Jesus took all our sins, sicknesses, guilt and shame upon Himself and exchanged it for His life, freedom, wholeness, joy, peace and love.
Paul wrote most of the New Testament teachings. Before his conversion his name was Saul and he was convinced that Jesus was a liar and a fraud, and that His followers were both deceived and dangerous to society. Saul had permission from the Jewish authorities to arrest, persecute and kill any Christians he found. Saul enjoyed his mission and did it with great enthusiasm. He held the coats of those who stoned Stephen to death. How could God ever forgive someone like that?! But He did. Some of us may have forgiven Saul, but would that make you trust him? God not only forgave Saul, but also changed his name to Paul and greatly used him to tell others about the new life Christ offers to all who put their trust in Him.
Paul wrote, “I do not even deserve to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God.” 1 Corinthians 15:9 NIV
The Power of Testimony
Paul didn’t let his past define who he was, rather he used his testimony (his story) of his past to show how Jesus had radically changed his life. He was under no illusion that without the intervention of God he would have continued down that path of persecution and death, waging war against those he thought were blaspheming God. He was carrying out his own personal Jihad against those whom he considered were the enemies of God.
Several years ago, I was giving a talk on forgiveness at a small daytime meeting. There was a lady who was probably in her mid 80’s who had been carrying the guilt of something she had done years previously. She told God how sorry she was and let go of it, and as she received His forgiveness, she smiled at me and said, “This is the first time I have felt peace in 60 years.” She left a free woman and I never saw her again. The receiving and giving of forgiveness is so empowering.
If God could forgive Paul, He can certainly forgive you and me! There is nothing that God can’t forgive. Maybe you are still carrying guilt and shame as a result of something that you have done, even though you have been a Christian for many years. Your testimony is powerful and God wants you to share it so that others can know that there is forgiveness for them. We often fall into the trap of comparing our testimony with someone else who possibly has had a more colourful or controversial life, a life of overcoming drugs or alcohol, abuse or prostitution, prison or the like. As wonderful as these testimonies are, never feel that others wouldn’t be interested in your testimony in comparison to theirs. Maybe you have known Jesus all your life; how wonderful that is as a testimony of His saving grace. He has kept you from the temptations of life, helping you make good choices along the way. Celebrate your testimony and never be afraid to share it as someone else needs to hear good news!
Forgiveness is a command not a choice! Why would God command us to forgive, especially when it wasn’t our fault? I believe that it comes down to our perception of God. When we have a false perception of Him, we fail to see his heart. Forgiveness is for our benefit, our wellbeing. Carrying unforgiveness can lead to all types of problems, from physical to emotional ones. It opens a door to bitterness, anger, hatred and violence. How many times have you wanted revenge, payback or justice? I know that I have. Many times, I have thought that things that have happened to me haven’t been fair and that the individual is getting off scot free. I have been tempted to become angry and bitter, and at times given into it. When I have chosen not to forgive it has bound me to that individual; every time that I thought of them or saw them, I was locked in the pain of the memory. It was as fresh in my mind as the day it happened. Unforgiveness produces fear. I have come to know that unforgiveness is a luxury that I can’t afford!
What about those who have been abused physically, emotionally or sexually, should they just forgive? Forgiveness doesn’t mean what that person did was right, it doesn’t mean it was ok or that they can get away with what they have done. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you give up all your rights. I’m not saying that in such cases the police shouldn’t be involved. Of course they should - that’s why we have a judiciary system and prisons to punish offenders and protect the public. However, even when a perpetrator is behind bars or has died, if you withhold forgiveness then that person still holds you captive. Even though they are no longer a threat, they are very much alive in your mind. If that person is still around then we need to have boundaries and common sense.
God’s thinking is upside down to ours, and thank God that it is! “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9 NLT
God know how to fix us. He knows just what we need to stay healthy and successful, to bring the gold out of us rather than the muck. “Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all. Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honourable. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, I will take revenge; I will pay them back, says the Lord. If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.” Romans 12:14-20 NLT . This makes no sense to the un-renewed mind, our thinking has to change to come in line with His. God’s not mean, but He is righteous.
There have been many times in my life when I have read something in the Bible and I have wanted to tear out the page because it has challenged my thinking and caused me inner turmoil. For instance as I think back many years ago when I had just been through an acrimonious divorce the thought of us becoming friends was far from my thinking, but thankfully we are now good friends. I had to make a choice as I was showing others my bitterness and anger, which was at that time bad fruit! (I thought that I had hidden it well!) Obedience will always triumph sacrifice. I had to forgive to be forgiven! Then when I was reading, “For your Maker is your husband. The Lord of hosts is His name; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel; He is called the God of the whole earth”. Isaiah 54:5: KJV
I had to deal with that one as well! I can laugh about it now, but at the time I was thinking, ‘Well if He’s anything like my last one, no thanks!’ I was trapped in unforgiveness. I didn’t know Him in that way; my heart needed to be healed and my mind needed to be renewed to know what God was really like.
I made a good choice that day, that took me on a journey of discovery towards knowing just how kind God really is and to understanding and appreciating the power of forgiveness. When I read that scripture now it makes me smile. God is so much more than we can really take in. He wants to capture our hearts.
Is there a particular scripture that makes you cringe? Go back to it, revisit it with the Holy Spirit and settle it once and for all. If you want to be free then you need to make good choices, and sometimes it won’t be the popular choice or easiest of choices. But nevertheless we make a choice, we either forgive or we don’t. We become free or we stay bound.
God has given everyone a wonderful gift of free choice, a choice to obey or disobey. Regarding forgiveness, we now know it’s a command.
Forgiveness is linked to getting our prayers answered. Then Jesus said to the disciples, “Have faith in God. I tell you the truth, you can say to this mountain, ‘May you be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and it will happen. But you must really believe it will happen and have no doubt in your heart. I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you’ve received it, it will be yours. But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.” Mark 11:22-25, NLT
“Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!’ Forgiveness is a releasing of debt, it’s granting a pardon! Although a command itcan be a process, starting with a choice to forgive. It often means that even though you have made a choice to forgive, you can struggle to let it go. You may find the need to forgive that person every day or every time that you think of them. The Bible tells us that we must forgive from the heart!
Susan’s (not her real name) mother-in-law had just gone through a very painful divorce after many years of marriage. Her husband had left her for another woman. She became very bitter which in turn made the arthritis in her hands so bad that she was unable to hold anything as her hands had twisted inwards. She wasn’t a believer. Susan bought her to my house in the hope that I could explain the gospel to her and the power of forgiveness. She came, she listened, but these were her words, “I will never forgive that man.” Sadly a few months later she died.
Margaret, on the other hand, was also divorced and had to come back to England with nothing but the clothes on her back. She too had very bad arthritis in her hands. Margaret was a Christian but she didn’t know much about the power of forgiveness. She forgave her ex-husband and as she did so all the arthritis came out of her hands. She was free.
Was the arthritis connected to the bitterness or was it just coincidental? I believe it was directly related to her bitterness.
The best way that I have succeeded with this is to ask the Father to show me His heart for them, and when He does it changes my heart towards that individual. It doesn’t mean wisdom or common sense fly out the window, but it has changed the way that I see that person. However, forgiveness isn’t a restoration of trust!
Unforgiveness keeps YOU in torment, not the person who sinned against you. Unforgiveness is “You owe me!” and it it gives satan an advantage over you. He is a legalist, and the Bible tells us about the importance of keeping short accounts. It can cause big problems in churches, group and ministries. It opens the door for little foxes to ruin the vine. Unity brings commanded blessing. God makes sure that His blessing is present when there is unity.
Bitterness is a major trait of unforgiveness. “Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.” Hebrews 12:15 NLT. Bitterness can also affect other people, you may not always recognise it in yourself, but others will see it. I didn’t realise the bitterness that I felt towards my dad until I saw how I had made many judgements against him. He wasn’t generous, he was mean spirited, he was negative, and so the list went on. He was many of those things but I had found him wanting and judged him accordingly which in turn made our relationship worse.
Jayne {not her real name} had a very precarious relationship with her dad. He often promised things and then he either changed his mind or denied ever saying that he would provide it. It got to the place where Jayne wouldn’t ask him for anything because she knew that it would only lead to disappointment. She was encouraged to read a small book on forgiveness, by John and Carol Arnott. She read the book and then she forgave her father. Sometime later she called her mom to tell her that her dad had had put a substantial amount of money into her bank account to clear her debts. Her mom didn’t make the connection straight away, but the following day asked her daughter if she had read the book and forgiven her dad. The young woman said yes, she had forgiven him but felt nothing at the time. She went on to say that when she had been in the car with her dad later that week, she no longer felt the anger or aggression towards him. For the first time she had heard him say that he loved her. Jayne went home and gave the book to her partner and told him to read it and to forgive his dad. The young man’s dad had walked out on him when he was two years of age and he hadn’t seen or heard from him since. He forgave his dad and the very next day his dad rang him out of the blue, asked his son to forgive him and asked for a relationship with him. Coincidence? I don’t think so! It was the power of forgiveness.
Why do you think the enemy wants to keep us in strife? Because he knows that forgiveness is a powerful weapon that can defeat his plans to destroy the family unit and the relationships that we have. It’s ok to be angry, but the Bible tells us “To be angry and sin not!” and,” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry.” Eph 4:26 KJV. It’s ok to be angry, however, we cross the line when we hang onto the anger, and don’t forgive and then allow that anger and unforgiveness to turn into bitterness.
Once when I was preparing a message on the following scripture: “There will be no mercy for those who have not shown mercy to others. But if you have been merciful, God will be merciful when he judges you.” James 2:13 NLT, I realised that I was preaching something that I wasn’t practicing. Maybe the message was just for me. Mercy outweighed judgement. I wanted mercy for myself, yet I wasn’t always willing to be merciful to someone else. I could see the beam in someone else’s eye but couldn’t see the log in my own! I needed to repent of my judgements towards my Dad!
The Holy Spirit reminded me of the early days of my Christian life where I would lie in bed and joyfully, yes joyfully, ask Him to show me what I needed to repent of and He would willingly show me. It wasn’t stressful or heavy, it actually became fun. I was getting rid of the things that could cause a blockage between me and God. It became so freeing. So, I repented of all the judgements, the ones I knew about and the ones the Holy Spirit pointed out to me. It was quite uneventful, by that I mean there were a few tears but nothing dramatic. However, the very next day my Dad called me and said, “I’ve been thinking about your TV, it’s old and I would like to buy you a new one. Come and pick me up and we will go and get one.” Something had changed in both of us. My repentance and forgiveness had somehow set him free and as my attitude changed towards him, it enabled both of us to enjoy a better relationship. This turnabout lasted right up till he went home to be with Jesus.
Because I had experienced His mercy as opposed to judgement, I found that when I preached on it the message carried a greater anointing and more people were able to respond and know freedom for themselves.
I am not saying that it is easy to forgive, especially if you have been the victim of rape or physical violence or abuse of any kind. I do know that God doesn’t want anyone to remain a victim. Forgiveness empowers you and sets you free so that the trauma you have experienced can no longer have any control over your life.
Today is your day of freedom. Maybe you would like to pray this right now:
Lord Jesus, I am sorry for believing that I couldn’t be forgiven for (speak out loud what it is that you want forgiveness for). I realise today that there is nothing that you won’t forgive if I acknowledge it as wrong. I am truly sorry and ask you to forgive me. Today I let go of it and receive your forgiveness. I let go of the guilt and shame and receive my freedom. My past will not define me, but my testimony will empower me and others. Thank you, Jesus, for taking this burden from me. Amen
Let me know your thoughts!
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