A Chip Off The Old Block!

Chris Finn
Apr 14
10 min read

A chip off the old block, he's the image of his dad. She has her mothers, mouth, her father's nose, his mannerisms, sounds just like her mother, a Jones! Common to life this will either encourage or annoy you! I guess it depends on the relationships that you have with your own family.

How well do you know yourself?

Does your identity change depend on who you are with? It's so easy to wear a mask to be socially acceptable and fit in.

Our self-worth is too often based on what other people tell us about ourselves. The true authority on our self-worth is found in Jesus Christ, and since He lay down His own life up for us by dying on a cross, that should tell us just how valuable we really are.

What is the root cause of self-hatred or low self-esteem?

Causes of self-loathing and hatred often involves experiences from childhood. Negative childhood experiences like continual criticisms from parents, siblings, other authority figures, teachers, school bullies as well as inappropriate discipline. Situations that promote and foster feelings of inadequacy can cause coping strategies to develop and contribute to a self-hating mindset.

Self-hatred is your heart attempting to condemn the person you are in preference for who you want to be. The problem is that who you want to be is simply a summary of your own desires. Your opinion is shaped around these desires instead of shaping it around God’s opinion of you. His preferences become over-ridden by yours.

You want to be accepted. You want to be valued. Thinking the key to acceptance is to have a beautiful body. You’re operating under two standards here. One is that your body is the key to acceptance. Two, that there’s a self-imposed standard that you made yourself. Yes, culture plays its part, or how you were raised, but at the end of the day, you become the authority on the standard.

Today, self-worth comes from what we do, what we say, and how we look. So, when you have that little black dress, or perfect business suit, the right shoes, and the perfect body to match, our culture promises worth will follow. Admiration will follow. Social media becomes your god!

Buy the big X large T shirt, or leggings, blame it on the baby weight. You hide and isolate yourself. Shame becomes a label, to add to all the other labels that you wear!

Someone else is always setting the standard of your worth which leads to perpetual rejection, whether you are big or small. And fear of rejection is an adrenaline shot to our cycle of self-loathing.

The more you strive to meet the worldly standard of perfection, the harder you fall into self-comfort eating. Here’s the truth: we can’t meet the standard.

Really! Why is that? The standard is a lie, so we will never have the tools to meet it. When you were created you surpassed any earthly standard!

When I was in my teens and early twenties, I was still trying to fathom out who I was. I'd go out drinking with friends and 'practice' having a drink, but I didn't like alcohol despite the many varieties that I tried. I spent more time hugging the toilet than enjoying the evening, vowing never to do it again only to have a repeat performance! I smoked because it gave me something to do with my hands. I learnt to mask my body language and seemed to be continually on a diet!

Society hasn't changed much in that respect. Magazines, TV, social media, peer pressure mould us into what the world deems necessary to 'fit in'.

Thankfully new heroes are emerging, as footballers and sports personalities are openly sharing their stories of abuse, they suffered at the hands of those who should have protected them. These heroes empower others to no longer be a victim, but to have a voice!

Social media especially is playing a major role in defining who you think you are, who you should and shouldn't be. Children seem to have lost their identity, introducing more anxiety and self-doubt. Then they grow up and become adults with no real sense of identity and worth.

Trends change with ever increasing regularity. It's easy to be caught up in a vicious cycle of following these trends because you don't want to be labelled as being dull and boring, unadventurous or nerdy!

No wonder mental health issues are increasing, yet the resources to help deal with this is sadly lacking.

Treating the symptoms is like putting a sticking plaster on a deep wound that needs stitches. The root cause must be dealt with. A sticking plaster doesn't answer the fundamental cry of our hearts " Who am I?"

You cannot Photoshop real life!

In Genesis 1:26 we find that the God head; the Father, Jesus and the Holy Spirit were having a meeting and on the agenda was the creation of man. God spoke:

“Let us make human beings in our image, make them reflecting our nature so, they can be responsible for the fish in the sea, the birds in the air, the cattle, And, yes, earth itself, and every animal that moves on the face of Earth. God created human beings; he created them godlike, reflecting God’s nature. He created them male and female. God blessed them: Prosper! Reproduce! Fill Earth! Take charge! Be responsible for fish in the sea and birds in the air, for every living thing that moves on the face of Earth.”

Psalm 8:4-6 When I look at the night sky and see the work of your fingers the moon and the stars you set in place what are mere mortals that you should think about them, human beings that you should care for them? Yet you made them only a little lower than God and crowned them with glory and honour. You gave them charge of everything you made, putting all things under their authority the flocks and the herds and all the wild animals, the birds in the sky, the fish in the sea, and everything that swims the ocean currents.

I wonder how long that conversation took place for! I’d like to believe that the air was charged with excitement and anticipation as their discussion took place. Scripture is full of instruction to meditate on His word, psalm 119 is full of examples of this. Eastern meditation is the counterfeit to biblical meditation. You couldn’t have a counterfeit £10.00 note if there wasn’t a real one! The Holy Spirit is your teacher. He will show you what is real and what is not.

“You formed my innermost being, shaping my delicate inside

and my intricate outside and wove them all together in my mother’s womb. I thank you, God, for making me so mysteriously complex!

Everything you do is marvellously breathtaking.

It simply amazes me to think about it! How thoroughly you know me, Lord! You even formed every bone in my body when you created me in the secret place; carefully, skilfully you shaped me from nothing to something.

You saw who you created me to be before I became me! Before I’d ever seen the light of day, the number of days you planned for me

were already recorded in your book”. Psalm 139:13-16

What a thrilling thought, that God himself wanted a family and he chose you to be His child. None of the Angels could fit that role, only mankind. And what makes it even more thrilling is that there's a book in heaven that contains the destiny that he has for you.

Those dreams that you have, those character traits, the interests that you have, and your gifting are all written in that book. Even the days allotted to you, how long you will live and what your purpose on the earth is. The problem is that most people are frustrated because they know they were created for more than what they have experienced.

When God said let's make man in our image and likeness, it reminds me of the time my husband and I decided to start a family. We had to plan for all the things we would need in anticipation of our baby’s arrival.

God is the perfect father. Those who have had children or are expecting will remember how you prepared for their arrival. The room was decorated, and colours were chosen carefully often with matching furniture, carpets and blinds - all the things to make the nursery perfect!

Now, I realise that not everyone is able to do this, but I do believe that most parents have a dream of how they would like things to look. Then there's the pram, the cot, baby clothes, nappies, and feeding equipment and all the other things that the baby will need to be taken well care of.

Family and friends add their joy to that of the parents. Everything is prepared for the arrival of your child. All the baby does is arrive on the appointed day. A baby can do nothing to earn what is provided for them, the love, the care etc. The baby simply receives, and they sure let you know when something upsets them!

This is a natural picture of what is in God's heart for His family, you and me. God created the perfect environment for Adam before he made him. All Adam had to do was enjoy the garden, rule over it and maintain his inheritance.

Good parents dream about what their children might achieve. Some can save for their children's education and look for the best schools. Every good parent wants their children to achieve more than they did, in order to have a better life.

A good parent looks for the gold in their children and does their best to help them become the very best version of themself.

To move from the destruction of self-loathing to radiant glory in Jesus, we must take our eyes off ourselves and refuse the cultural standards of worth. To be beautiful/handsome is to be like Christ. The world rejects this. It will not support us in it. There is nothing wrong with taking good care of your body by eating well and having exercise and rest. However, we shouldn’t be fixated on ourselves to the detriment of all else! We must repent of all and any self-idolatry!

Your worth as a person has already been determined by Jesus.

“For He foreordained us (destined us, planned in love for us) to be adopted (revealed) as His own children through Jesus Christ, in accordance with the purpose of His will [[b]because it pleased Him and was His kind intent]—

[So that we might be] to the praise and the commendation of His glorious grace (favour and mercy), which He so freely bestowed on us in the Beloved.

In Him we have redemption (deliverance and salvation) through His blood, the remission (forgiveness) of our offenses (shortcomings and trespasses), in accordance with the riches and the generosity of His gracious favour,

Which He lavished upon us in every kind of wisdom and understanding (practical insight and prudence),” Ephesians 1:5-8 ampc

You were not a mistake; your parents may think that you were. You may have been abandoned, without knowing your birth parents, or rejected by those who should have loved and protected you. You may be struggling with self-hatred or low self-esteem.

Today is a new day! A day to see yourself through the eyes of your father in heaven. This is what he says about you!

“Lord, you know everything there is to know about me.

You perceive every movement of my heart and soul,

and you understand my every thought before it even enters my mind.

You are so intimately aware of me, Lord.

You read my heart like an open book

and you know all the words I’m about to speak

before I even start a sentence!

You know every step I will take before my journey even begins.

You’ve gone into my future to prepare the way,

and in kindness you follow behind me

to spare me from the harm of my past.

You have laid your hand on me!

This is just too wonderful, deep, and incomprehensible!

Your understanding of me brings me wonder and strength.

Where could I go from your Spirit?

Where could I run and hide from your face?

If I go up to heaven, you’re there!

If I go down to the realm of the dead, you’re there too!

If I fly with wings into the shining dawn, you’re there!

If I fly into the radiant sunset, you’re there waiting!

Wherever I go, your hand will guide me;

your strength will empower me.

It’s impossible to disappear from you

or to ask the darkness to hide me,

for your presence is everywhere, bringing light into my night.

There is no such thing as darkness with you.

The night, to you, is as bright as the day;

there’s no difference between the two.

You formed my innermost being, shaping my delicate inside

and my intricate outside,

and wove them all together in my mother’s womb.

I thank you, God, for making me so mysteriously complex!

Everything you do is marvellously breathtaking.

It simply amazes me to think about it!

How thoroughly you know me, Lord!

You even formed every bone in my body

when you created me in the secret place; carefully, skilfully you shaped me from nothing to something.

You saw who you created me to be before I became me!

Before I’d ever seen the light of day,

the number of days you planned for me

were already recorded in your book.

Every single moment you are thinking of me!

How precious and wonderful to consider

that you cherish me constantly in your every thought!

O God, your desires toward me are more

than the grains of sand on every shore!

When I awake each morning, you’re still with me.

O God, come and slay these bloodthirsty, murderous men!

For I cry out, “Depart from me, you wicked ones!”

See how they blaspheme your sacred name

and lift up themselves against you, but all in vain!

Lord, can’t you see how I despise those who despise you?

For I grieve when I see them rise up against you.

I have nothing but complete hatred and disgust for them.

Your enemies shall be my enemies!

God, I invite your searching gaze into my heart.

Examine me through and through;

find out everything that may be hidden within me.

Put me to the test and sift through all my anxious cares.

See if there is any path of pain I’m walking on,

and lead me back to your glorious, everlasting way—

the path that brings me back to you. Psalm 139 TPT

Lisa Bevere wrote this:

“Imagine a grain of sand as a single moment. Then dare to embrace the awe-inspiring concept that each of these grains represents one of your Heavenly Father’s thoughts towards you. This may be hard to believe, but it’s true. The God Most High treasures ideas about you that are so rare, beautiful and innumerable that they are outside the boundaries of human comprehension. And just like sand you can find evidence of His fierce love for you everywhere you look in creation. It is tragic that most of us feel fiercely judged rather than fiercely loved. To counter this here is a sampling of what might He be thinking about you:

Thoughts of love.

Thoughts of joy.

Thoughts of peace.

Thoughts of grace.

Thoughts of mercy.

Thoughts of creativity.

Thoughts of goodness.

Thoughts of care.

Thoughts of restoration and rescue.

God put His gold in you,and he is thrilled and delighted when you discover it for yourself!