I don't know where I'm going, I just knew I couldn't stay!

Fourteen months ago I was in a meeting talking to the Lord about the growing discontent that I was feeling. Sue had the word below and after she wrote it out on her phone, she turned towards me pointed at her phone then pointed towards me. As I read the word that the Lord had given her I felt the quickening of the Holy Spirit within me.

The rest of that night was a bit of a blur as my mind was focused on what I had read.

I didn't realise but in that moment the Holy Spirit was preparing me for a transition that I wasn't sure I was ready for!

For I am turning the Streams into rivers

I see the Lord’s hand, His finger pointing and stopping the streams like a sudden dam. Those flowing in the streams are disappointed believing the enemy is holding them back. Praying and working. Praying and working but not stopping to listen and respond to the voice of the Lord. This is not discipline says the Lord, this is a time of redirection that you will not flow into a stagnant pond.

You are created to flow and flow fast. You are made to bubble forth full of vibrant life. Allow the Lord to redirect you that you can flow with His beauty and bring healing and restoration to those on the edge. For this river is accelerating and fast flowing.

Those who do not allow the Lord to redirect will be left behind to watch from afar. Welcome the hand of the Lord as He scoops you in His hand and relocates you. For there is no better place to be than in the river where God is releasing you, even when you are out of your depth.

Sue Sinclair May 2024

We can either be impacted by a prophetic word, or we aren’t, depending on the season we are in! That word was the beginning of a fourteen month transitional journey of healing and self discovery with the Holy Spirit.

The last paragraph griped my heart!

I don’t think that most people choose to deliberately disobey God, there are other factors at play, especially fear. For me, I didn’t realise the past was still haunting me but at the same time there was this growing dissatisfaction within me for the more, that was resurfacing at a rapid rate. I discovered that I had suppressed all the risk-taking part of my personality as many of us do!

The journey of being called out of my church to an unknown territory.

Hopefully it will encourage you if in a similar situation, or those who have been or may have to face something similar in the future!

I had a dream from the moment I became a Christian to create a place where people could come, have family, experience the presence and the power of the Holy Spirit, a place where gifts and callings, the gold within could be identified and released to impact the body as well as a community. Think of an upside-down pyramid, the leader/ leaders at the bottom, empowering others through mentoring/discipleship to fulfil their dreams/ministries/ careers etc wherever it takes them. To be able to resource other churches, groups, ministries and individuals. The early church had all things in common! Celebrating and honouring the successes of others.

How do we transition from where we are now to where we are being led?

Holy Spirit led me to read the book of Genesis.

'One day Terah took his son Abram, his daughter-in-law Sarai (his son Abram’s wife), and his grandson Lot (his son Haran’s child) and moved away from Ur of the Chaldeans. He was headed for the land of Canaan, but they stopped at Haran and settled there. Terah lived for 205 years and died while still in Haran'. Genesis 11:31-32

The Lord had said to Abram, “Leave your native country, your relatives, and your father’s family, and go to the land that I will show you. I will make you into a great nation. I will bless you and make you famous, and you will be a blessing to others. I will bless those who bless you and curse those who treat you with contempt. All the families on earth will be blessed through you.” Genesis 12:1-3

Is it time to let go of some relationships and align with new ones?

It doesn't mean that friendships have to stop, but rather you need new ones so that you move into the next phase of your purpose.

Abraham didn’t know where he was going, he just knew where he couldn’t stay.

That’s the place at some point in our lives we will all have to face.

Why did Abraham’s dad settle in Haran, rather than complete the journey to Canaan?

It’s not always about location. Some individuals, families are called to other cities and nations. For so many, settle in their thinking, settle for 'it will do!'

'Don’t copy the behaviour and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.' Romans 12:2

Beliefs can be compromised, we get tired of arguments, want an easy life. Enjoy what we have, too much trouble to move again. The benefits of a job, just want to fit in. Fear of starting over! Having your failures thrown in your face! We can all give reasons as too why it’s easier to settle! It’s safer in the cave.

Look at King David, he went to hide in the cave at Adullam. 'I want to be alone'!

He was refered to as a man after God's heart. In his own pain he didn't tell those men to 'get lost.' He didn't move to another cave, he put his own needs aside to help those men fulfil their purpose.

'These are the names of the mighty men whom David had: [a]Josheb-Basshebeth the Tachmonite, chief among the captains. He was called Adino the Eznite, because he had killed eight hundred men at one time. And after him was Eleazar the son of Dodo, the Ahohite, one of the three mighty men with David when they defied the Philistines who were gathered there for battle, and the men of Israel had retreated. He arose and attacked the Philistines until his hand was weary, and his hand stuck to the sword. The Lord brought about a great victory that day; and the people returned after him only to plunder. And after him was Shammah the son of Agee the Hararite. The Philistines had gathered together into a troop where there was a piece of ground full of lentils.

So the people fled from the Philistines. But he stationed himself in the middle of the field, defended it, and killed the Philistines. So the Lord brought about a great victory'.

1 Samuel 22:1-2 describes David taking refuge in the cave as a symbol of a place of transformation and preparation, similar to the wilderness experiences of other biblical figures like Moses. David turned the misfits into a fighting army and Moses led a Nation out of slavery! We all have our part to play!

'Don’t compare yourself with others. Just look at your own work to see if you have done anything to be proud of. You must each accept the responsibilities that are yours'.

Gal 6:4-6 ERV

'Yes, the body has many different parts, not just one part. If the foot says, “I am not a part of the body because I am not a hand,” that does not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear says, “I am not part of the body because I am not an eye,” would that make it any less a part of the body? If the whole body were an eye, how would you hear? Or if your whole body were an ear, how would you smell anything?

But our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part just where he wants it. How strange a body would be if it had only one part! Yes, there are many parts, but only one body. The eye can never say to the hand, “I don’t need you.” The head can’t say to the feet, “I don’t need you.”

In fact, some parts of the body that seem weakest and least important are actually the most necessary. And the parts we regard as less honorable are those we clothe with the greatest care. So we carefully protect those parts that should not be seen, while the more honorable parts do not require this special care. So God has put the body together such that extra honor and care are given to those parts that have less dignity. This makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other. If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad.

All of you together are Christ’s body, and each of you is a part of it'.

I didn’t realise that I had been hiding in a cave, maybe that’s what you are doing or being tempted to do. My cave was well equipped, comfortable ‘It will do” But Sue’s word made me realise that I didn’t want to be like Abraham’s dad, settle for second best and die in the place of an unfulfilled vision!

I don’t want my legacy to be this:

'She was headed for the place of promise, but she stopped and settled for less!'

Terah lived for 205 years[a] and died while still in Haran. What a sad epitaph!

I wanted a sort of road map or at least an idea of my next move!

We like to make plans and have some control or at least a say in how and where!

I am learning that God values the journey above the destination!

'Blessed are those whose strength is in you,

whose hearts are set on pilgrimage.

As they pass through the Valley of Baka,

they make it a place of springs;

the autumn rains also cover it with pools.

They go from strength to strength,

till each appears before God in Zion.' Psalm 84

Passing through and embracing the journey.

It’s in the journey where relationship/intimacy is developed with Holy Spirit.

Dealing with the heart choices are all shaped in the journey.

All the questions going on in my head, and possibly yours too.

What church will I go to?

At your age you want to do what?

How can I lead a ministry if I’m not accountable?

Why can’t you settle?

Why do you keep going to Liverpool?

The Holy Spirit asked me, ‘Do you fear man more than me?’

'The fear of man brings a snare, but whoever leans on, trusts in, and puts his confidence in the Lord is safe and set on high'. Proverbs 29:25

Obedience is better than sacrifice! If you doubt that then look at the life of King Saul.

We don’t need to understand to obey! Often understanding comes once we obey!

We all have a destiny; "You saw who you created me to be before I became me! Before I'd ever seen the light of day, the number of days you planned for me were already recorded in your book." Psalm 139:16 TPT

This verse emphasizes God's intimate knowledge of individuals before their birth, highlighting a pre-ordained plan and purpose for each person's life.

There is a book of our lives in heaven that God releases incrementally throughout our lives.

So, to re-cap:

1. Seek first the Kingdom.

2. Discern if it’s a Godly dissatisfaction or a fleshly one.

3. Don’t settle for anything less than what is already yours, healing, a job, provision, fulfilment of a dream.

4. Feed your faith.

5. Choose obedience over sacrifice.

6. Embrace the journey.

7. Find your identity and purpose.

8. Enter your promised land, but don’t get too comfortable especially if you’re called to be a pioneer!

9. Always believe and declare that God is good, especially in times of testing.

10. Allow the Holy Spirit to align you with the right people. Find your tribe.

Faith and fear have something in common; both are expecting something that has yet to happen!

Once I made the decision to follow Gods leading and put it into motion, peace flooded my spirit, and things began to fall into place.

I don’t really know what is next, but I do know the one leading me!

'Royalty is my identity. Servanthood is my assignment. Intimacy with God is my life source'. Bill Johnson