We are progressing further into January 2024; our new year resolutions are either well in hand or have been long forgotten! I’m no good at making or keeping new year resolutions as they are mostly a good idea based on a need, without the commitment of my will! However, Holy Spirit has been talking to me about two words; alignment and momentum.
Who you align yourself with can either move you forward (momentum) into more of what God has for you or stop you in your tracks and prevent you from fulfilling the calling and destiny on your life. For many there’s been a holding back of being who you want to be, by hanging back and allowing others to do the things that were meant for you to do! Aligning yourself with the right people will take courage as it will mean coming out of your comfort zones, feeling insecure and vulnerable. Fear will be knocking on your door and the comfort of the familiar will be tempting. However, the rewards of the right alignment will eventually outweigh the doubts!
Holy Spirit is calling us out into the light, His spot light! No more hiding your light under a bushel. In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus says: "Nor do they light a lamp and then put it under a bushel basket; it is set on a lampstand, where it gives light to all in the house. Just so, your light must shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your heavenly Father.”
The right people in your life will help you grow, challenge your understanding and belief system at times, and inevitably your grace. Iron sharpens iron! Challenge comes at a cost. New alignments, or we could say new relationships and new friends, will require a letting go of old ones. There will be a testing of jealousy and a string of Godly envy! All part of Holy Spirit's plan of making you more like Jesus. Have you ever looked at another person and been amazed at their boldness in God and wanted what they have? To have what they have may well lead you to pay the price to get it!
These will be testing times of character and grace. Some will get left behind because they continue to align with the old (people, thinking, comfort, ways etc.). You can’t put new wine in old wine skins! “And no one puts new wine into old wineskins; otherwise the new [fermenting] wine will [expand and] burst the skins and it will be spilled out, and the skins will be ruined. But new wine must be put into fresh wineskins. And no one, after drinking old wine, wishes for new; for he says, ‘The old is fine.’ ”Luke 5:37-39
We have the opportunity to be like the sons of Issachar who could discern the times they lived in. 1 Chronicles 12:32.
Momentum will look different for each of us depending on the alignments that we make, and the access we give Holy Spirit to our hearts to do the necessary inner work of healing .
What should we be looking for in our friendships and what qualities should we cultivate to be a good friend? David and Jonathan’s friendship is often used as a prime example of a great friendship.
What did they see in each other that caused their souls to be knit together? David loved God and had vision and the gifting to inspire others to reach their own potential. When in a place of need himself in the Cave of Adullam he changed those men’s perspective of themselves into an army of fighting men. He knew how to encourage himself in the Lord in the face of death. He ‘owned’ his sin and was quick to repent. David was loyal to his own family to the detriment of himself. I think that his good points far outweighed his bad ones! Jonathan was a realist; he accepted that David would be the next king rather than himself. He was protective, loyal and honouring. In my opinion, Jonathan’s biggest mistake was to follow his father into a battle that would end up taking both their lives. Unsanctified loyalty can kill your dreams, stop the flow of blessings in your life and even take your life! Only God deserves 100% loyalty!
We all have character flaws to some degree or another, and hopefully we are allowing Holy Spirit and others to help us on this aspect of our journey. Character is important but a character flaw is not a disqualification!
Jesus called His disciples friends. Many of the disciples had some, if not many, character flaws. It would benefit us to look at Jesus’ attitude towards them, particularly when their behaviour fell below what we would expect of friends today. At times the disciples were indifferent to the needs of others, instead fighting amongst themselves as to who would be the greatest. They were human. They were self-centered. They sometimes mistreated people, for example when feeding the 4000 and 5000, they told Jesus to send them all home! Then there was their attitude toward the prostitute who anointed Jesus’ feet. Why would Jesus want these men as his friends? I believe that he saw their potential. Jesus never said, “You’re all immature. I’ve made a mistake, just forget all this - I’ll get some new friends!” Instead he acknowledged the desire for greatness within them and then influenced their thinking into not being like the world.
A good friend is an encourager; someone who builds you up and encourages you in your walk with God, with your dreams, job and family etc. It doesn’t mean sugar coating everything, but remaining positive even when things look bleak. A good friend speaks the truth in love and tells you the truth even when it’s difficult to hear. Someone who genuinely wants the best for you, prays for you and honours you. They can deal with jealousy and insecurity and can cheer you on in your success. A good friend is loyal, forgiving, and doesn’t use knowledge as a weapon. Someone who brings out the best in you. A good friend isn’t perfect, but someone who focuses on your potential rather than your flaws.
Our choice of friends plays a great part in helping or hindering the keeping or losing of our passion for the things of God. Some friends will be with us for life, some will be seasonal and others we will have to let go of. Holding on to friendships that need to end not only stop our own growth but it stops the growth of the other person! There is an excellent book by Henry Cloud called Necessary Endings - well worth the read. Our choice of friends says a lot about us. I have heard this said, “If we lie down with dogs then we can get up with fleas!”
“Wisdom will multiply your days and add years to your life. If you become wise, you will be the one to benefit.” Proverbs 9:11 NLT.
“The seeds of good deeds become a tree of life; a wise person wins friends.” Proverbs 11:30 NLT.
The Book of Proverbs has a lot of great advice about life and friendships. Over and over it tells us to get wisdom and sound judgement. Notice it’s sound judgement. I love the way the Bible uses specific words to convey God’s heart and goodness towards us.
Maybe it’s time to ask ourselves these questions:
What kind of friend am I?
Do I need to review some of my friendships?
Hopefully you are now better equipped to make better choices when deciding who your real friends are!
Holy Spirit, I ask for wisdom and sound judgement. Help me to be the best friend that I can possibly be. Sharpen my discernment to recognise which friends see the potential in me and push me forward to be the best me. Give me the grace to let go of those who are holding me back, so that we can both grow through the friendship of others.
“Hang out with people who pour water on your fears and petrol on your dreams.”
Kris Vallotton.
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